So I am really struggling today. Why, you ask? Well, let me fill you in. Over the course of the past couple of months, I have been experiencing some heart palpitations and anxiety that make me…uncomfortable, for lack of a better word. I know the cause of the problem: glorious, wonderful, stimulating caffeine.
Now, I am no caffeine a-holic. But we have a delicate relationship; caffeine and I. One cup of coffee in the morning is enough to tempt fate and get me through the day. Keep your sodas and teas. Just me and my k-cup, kicking it every morning was all I needed to get by.
Sadly, the jig is up.
Recently even one cup has turned me into a pre-Parkinson’s jitterbug. I tried drinking half a cup. No good. The anxiety has been creeping into other parts of my life, so I decided it was time to make the switch to caffeine free living.
Yesterday morning I felt tired and foggy headed. After lunch, I decided to do something that I NEVER do: have a carbonated soda. I felt like I needed something (hello, Sunkist!), and as long as there was no caffeine, then what’s the harm?
The harm is SUNKIST HAS CAFFEINE. Of course, this was unbeknownst to me at the time of consumption. I did notice that I perked right up after drinking the fizzy orangey goodness. This no caffeine thing wasn’t so bad after all! Until I felt the familiar racing heart that I was trying to avoid and took a peek at the ingredient list. There it was, like an evil temptress. CAFFEINE. How did I go through my entire life without realizing this? Clearly one of life’s great mysteries.
But that sealed the fate of caffeine in my life. Like gambling and loose women, it was another vice I was going to have to give up in my quest to have a 50th wedding anniversary party and beat Betty White at her own old lady game. (Okay, just kidding about the gambling and loose women. Or am I??? Hmmmmm)
Today is Day 2, and I have traded the caffeine induced heart racing for narcolepsy. Maybe I will get used to this one day?? I hope so.
Using this chart, my state of mind can currently be found between severe depression and normalcy:

Giving up vices is hard. And it made me start to think of something that I hear from so many customers: the DUI incident was the last time they took a drink. Did your DUI conviction cause you to re-think drinking alcohol? And if so, did it stick?
Coffee, like alcohol, is rooted into so many of our social rituals. How do we sacrifice the coffee or alcohol, without sacrificing the ritual? I guess that’s why they make O’Douls. And decaf.
Man… breaking up is hard to do.